Author: Nirupama Subramanian

By this time most of the Gurgaonites would have come back to the home ground after travelling to cool exotic places for the summer. You would have gawked at magnificent urban structures, experienced some thrilling rides at amusement parks, been up close with wild animals at a safari or paid the equivalent of your driver’s monthly salary to see the living quarters of a long dead king. You would have shared some stunning pictures on Facebook and received an average of 42 Likes and 12 comments. Now you are back to dull and dusty Gurgaon wondering when you can get away for another vacation.

Even I was feeling the same way when I realized that our Gurgaon too can get on the tourist map. We have a lot to offer by way of tourist attractions to the local, domestic and foreign traveller.

We do not need to go to a forest for a safari when we have a concrete urban jungle right here. Hop on to a Maruti Gypsy and see the local fauna. Here, you can spot the famous Multicolored Pig of Gurgaon, the only pig that is excellent at camouflage. Born a tender pink, it can within a few months, acquire a dull blackish brown hue and blend perfectly into the grime and grit of the nulla or road. There you see the Fearless Cow and the Indifferent Buffalo. Unlike its placid cousins in other cities, the Fearless Cow is known to charge a Fortuner if disturbed during its siesta in the middle of the road. The Indifferent Buffalo really doesn’t care if you toot your horn a hundred times. It will not budge from the parking spot. If you are lucky, you may spot a Lunging Monkey swinging from balcony to balcony, lunging expertly at a clump of bananas in the fruit bowl or a packet of chips in the hands of a toddler. And if you are very lucky, you may see a bemused Langur riding pillion on a bicycle, a perfect example of adapting to the urban jungle life.

After a safari, it is time for the Amusement Park Rides. Forget all those Ferris Wheels, Roller Coasters and Rotating Tea cups. For the real thrill, get into a shared auto at IFFCO chowk. If you manage to extricate yourself from it, hop off and climb into a rickshaw. Challenge the rickshaw driver to take you through any potholed road as fast as he can. If you are still able to hold down your lunch, board a bus at Sadar bazaar and see if you can hang on till the last stop. Get into a car and drive through a traffic jam caused by a malfunctioning signal at a T point. Stagger out at Huda Metro station and rent a bike. Pedal along MG Road during peak hours. If you are still alive, you can arrive at a mall and buy a nice souvenir. Notice that you paid a fraction of the amount you would have shelled out at Disneyland. Also notice the number of world class hospitals in Gurgaon that you may need to visit after the experience. Do not notice the world class fees they will charge.

After all that adventure, you might want to take it easy the next day. It is time to take a tour of the local architectural wonders. You might have been to Barcelona and admired the Modernist works of Gaudi or marvelled at the massive pyramids in Cairo. Now admire the amazing office building that looks like a stranded ship. Here is another one looks like a jumble of red and white lego blocks put together by a naughty child. Across the road, you might see a large translucent trapezium that resembles an object from outer space. Wander about gazing in awe at the vast modern office complexes in Cyber—-. Now get to see the living quarters of the locals. Take a tour of a sample flat at a swanky new upcoming high rise. Wonder at the latest motion sensing technology and voice activated temperature control systems. Be dazzled by the ability of the interior decorators who make it seem like the living quarters of a modern royal family. Marvel at the ingenuity of the builders who have used every inch of available space to construct these massive structures. Marvel more at the ingenuity of the nearby families of construction workers who manage to live under a single tarpaulin tent. Take some marvellous photos of all these manmade wonders and share them on Facebook.

Delhi, Agra and Jaipur are old news. Gurgaon has so much potential. It is time to add this city to the Golden Triangle and focus on developing it as the next major Indian tourist spot.

Over the years I have lived in Gurgaon, I have learnt some key facts about the way the place is designed-it is primarily designed to confound the senses of the most seasoned homing pigeon. Even those who have figured out how the Golchakkars at Connaught Place work are found wandering aimlessly in the Gurgaon neighborhoods asking every passing bhaiya the way to their destination. Though I still get lost if I move more than 5 kms from my residence, I hope this will help the newbie Gurgaonite or the wandering traveler get a clear mental map of the Millenium City.

The land is randomly divided into sectors which are divided by a Highway. There are sectors supposedly numbered from 1 to 72, (many sectors in between have vanished mysteriously – very few people have seen or heard of sector 24 since it went missing in 2001). The wandering traveller cannot assume that just because he has reached Sector 42, he will soon reach Sector 43. There will be a Phase in between when he goes through severe disorientation and loss of bearings.

This could be in DLF Phase 4 or Phase 5. These are not passing Phases, but permanent entities which have swallowed up a few sectors.

There are assorted areas like South City, Sushant Lok or Jalvayu Vihar which appear between Sectors and Phases. Sushant Lok is in competition with the DLF Phases and attaches both alphabets and numbers to it, just to show off and make it more exciting for the traveller to find Sushant Lok 1, C Block.

Then there is Sohna Road which has attached itself to Gurgaon like a long tail with new housing omplexes that are springing up on it like warts. All houses here have the same address- Name of Building, Sohna Road. This gives the wandering traveller a chance to play the adventurous game of “Spot the Building.” In the advanced version of the game, the player has to dodge cows,potholes and tractors while keeping an eye out for the building he has to get to.

In between Sectors, Phases and other areas there are shopping malls and office complexes. It is quite easy to build an office complex in Gurgaon. Start with the word Cyber. Add another word to it like Park/City/Green/Blue etc. Throw in a Global or a Tech along with glass, steel and concrete and you have prime commercial space.

Hidden slyly between malls, sectors, phases and grazing grounds are villages with buffaloes, bazaars and bylanes on which the wandering travellers will have to abandon their vehicle and walk single file.

With all these delicate nuances in the landscape, the Gurgaonite has realised that it is no use giving a postal address if you want people to find you. During my early days in Gurgaon, I tried giving directions to friends who made the mistake of wanting to visit us. We would have a bizarre conversation that sounded like lines from an old art house film (Imagine U2’s Where the Streets have noname playing gently in the background)

“So what is the name of the road you are on?” enquires the friend
“I don’t know.”
“Which sector is it?
“No idea.”
“What is the number of the building?’
“No number. Ask anyone for Hamilton Court.”
“Is there any landmark nearby?”
“Yes, The Shri Ram School.”
“How do I find the school?”
“Oh, it is just behind Hamilton Court.”

At this point of time, the friend would be banging the cell phone against a hard surface and insist that I hand the phone over to my husband. Four years ago we moved out of Hamilton Court to another apartment in Gurgaon. Luckily, I no longer have to give any directions. The only friends we now have left are the ones who live in the same building.

There seems to be a new international trend. 2011 saw the Arab Spring, the Occupy Wall Street movement, Anna Hazare’s campaign for the Lokpal bill. Everyone is so anti-this or anti-that, that protesting has become a movement of its own. Even in this quiet corner of suburban India, there have been small rumbles of unrest. Gurgaonites are no longer content with mild complaining. Some youths had protested when they were not let into a pub, the bouncers had protested when the fellows attempted to enter the place. After the ensuring brawl, the surrounding villagers had protested against the manhandling of the youths and had blocked off the malls. Shop owners protested against the loss of business. Regular pub goers and mall hoppers protested when their favorite haunts were inaccessible. Everyone got a chance to show their displeasure.

I remember some time ago that the roads were blocked due to some protests at the Toll Plaza. The Expressways which had been designed to ease traffic congestion was not doing its job. There were long queues and irate commuters at the Tolls everyday. To protest against traffic jams, people jammed the booths and preventing vehicles from passing through. For three whole hours, there was no traffic on the highway. The traffic moved to the MG road where clever commuters who had thought to take the alternate route were stuck for three hours. Luckily, they did not protest again.

After witnessing the national trend and being inspired by other protesters, I felt that I too should add my voice to the protesting chorus.

Life has become one long chore
The daily routine is bit of a bore
Maybe I should let it all out
Raise my hand and loudly shout
Against all the things that I detest
I will rave and rant and protest

I could protest against poverty or crime
But somehow I can’t make the time
I could join the one on corruption
now even that is facing disruption
Female infanticide and child abuse
Won’t make it to the national news

Bad roads and poor sanitation
Won’t get anyone’s attention
Pollution, congestion, traffic woes
Of these, we’ve had on overdose
I could stand up and preach
About the freedom of speech
Or even rise up in defense
Of those who’ve taken offence
But no one would hear my voice
At the current decibel level of noise

To stand out in the protesting sea
I need a novel way to disagree
When I hear a contrary view
I could hurl my high heeled shoe
If some leaders get me in a flap
I could give them a tight hard slap
Rave and rant through a blog or tweet
Shout and march down the street
I could start on an indefinite fast
Though I’m not sure if I would last

Protesting doesn’t seem to be fun
If you can’t get anything done
The solution that I think is the best
Is to protest against more protests
I think I’ll leave that one to all of you
And get on with the chores I have to do

One of the advantages of living in a Hi-tech place in Gurgaon is that everyone is familiar with and has access to all kinds of hi tech products. For someone like me, it has also become a disadvantage. I am not a cavewoman who hankers for the good old days where using a knife instead of bare hands was considered going hi-tech. I am all for any gizmo that makes our life simpler, removes the drudgery of household work and provides entertainment at the touch of a button. I am happy to be typing this article through a word document on my aptop rather than a pen and paper but I have found that technology has more ways for complicating my life rather than simplifying it.

One of the most important topics in an social gathering is the acquisition and use of new gadgets. A favourite party game is ‘ Passing the phone’. A new acquisition complete with Louis Vuiton/Ed Hardy designer cover is passed around amidst admiring cries. The owner lists its many wonderful features in great detail. “This has amazing picture quality – you can even see the eye of the housefly on this photo” “I can make recordings of my bathroom singing and zip them to my friends across 25 countries.” “ Siri, please give me the weather report in Mongolia and check the status of my flight to Ulan Bator,” another croons to his gizmo with the gaze of a doting lover. Everyone else murmurs in approval mentally making a note to jettison their old box and buy to the hottest new item. “So which one do you have?” a friend asked me at one of these gatherings. “An iphone”, I muttered proudly having upgraded to one two years ago. She continued “I just got myself a 5. Do you know it has an HD option for video? I used it to record Anisha’s dance during the form morning and it came out so well. So which one do you have?” “I don’t know” I said, gaining immediate admission to the Mobile Phone Hall of Shame. I usually don’t carry my phone to parties anymore.

Once I did attempt to join the crowd and announced, “I have got myself a new laptop.” My old one had a key or two missing and was so slow and sickly that it needed to be put to sleep. Immediately I was asked, “Why didn’t you get an ultrabook? What is the processor? What GB? What RAM? Does it have a touchscreen option?” My head was reeling. “You should get a tablet.” offered another. “Yes, I do need a Saridon” I nodded, touched by his empathy and sensitivity. “I meant the computer”, he said giving me a strange look that meant ‘ which rock have you crawled out from.’

It is not enough just to possess the latest gadget but one must also upgrade ones vocabulary. Even Auntyji and Uncleji are now aware about 3G and 2G.A toddler’s first words these days are TV, or ipad. Even before he can hold a spoon, his chubby finger is busy making fluffy red birds knock off fat green pigs across a screen. A three year old who has barely got all his molars now talks about Bluetooth. I have had to look at the Universe in a different way- The Galaxy is no longer a collection of stars and planets and Androids are not those cute little robots in Star Wars.

There is a whole new dictionary out there and I am yet to master all its contents. One of our acquaintances was driving us in his new car to a restaurant and we happened to get lost. He switched on a little screen near the dashboard. Even a non car enthusiast like me recognised it immediately. “Oh, you have a GPRS”, I remarked showing off my knowledge. “It is a GPS”, he corrected. “Isn’t it the same?” I dug my own grave a little more. Then I was given a short lecture by my husband on the difference between the two at the end of which my eyes glazed over and my appetite got lost.

I have now decided to add my own word to the dictionary- that versatile word called ‘thingy’ as in ‘ Do you have the thingy that can connect your charger to a plug point? I want that thingy which can get me free songs on my phone.’ If I can’t figure something out, I call my eleven year old daughter who is in charge of the maintenance of my gadgets. Whenever anyone talks about technology ,I adopt the air of an eccentric writer and murmur about the therapeutic smell of fresh paper. I quickly change the topic to the volatile real estate prices/vagaries of domestic help/road conditions etc. all of which provide a good respite from tech talk.

If running was one major symptom of the fitness bug, the other is gymming. Every apartment complex in Gurgaon now boats of a ‘fully equipped’, ‘state of the art’ gym. This means a treadmill, a exercise bike, one multi gym , four dumbbells and one guard bhaiya to maintain law and order. The neighborhood gym offers a safe, cozy, personalized environment to exercise. In fact, it is the people who frequen the gym who make it such an interesting place to be. Here are some typical ones.

The Hot Girl – Every good local gym has or should have the ‘ Hot Girl’. The Hot Girl could be a yummy mummy or a PYT but her hotness quotient takes care of the gym heating during winter. The Hot Girl has no ostensible reason to frequent the gym. She is not fat or flabby and has no interest in building muscle. Others know that she is there in lycra shorts and a strappy top to a) feel good about herself b) make other women feel bad about themselves. Just so that they don’t strangle her with a skipping rope, she will moan and say “ weekend mein itna kha liya” “ I just don’t fit into my college jeans anymore.” The women openly give her the ‘Glare’ if she dares to use any apparatus for more than 10 minutes. They all secretly desire a body like hers. The men furtively give her the ‘Look’ and try to lift an extra ten kiloswhen she is around. They all secretly desire her body.

The Muscle Man – The muscle man is well muscled after years of working out. Now he is a busy working man and visits the local gym just to keep himself in shape. He knows that those who are interested in serious muscle work will go to a proper gym. The Muscle man is an expert on body building and makes a daily wish that the gym would acquire some bench presses. He is happy to dole out advice to the paunchy puffy men who heave and pant after two push ups. He knows a thing or two about whey proteins. He slaps other men on the back-hard and says “ arrey yaar, pehle to main har roz tees –tees kela khata tha”. He has a few disciples including one pimply teenage boy who fantasizes about the Hot Girl.

Police Aunty – Police aunty prefers to go for morning walks with a couple of other aunties. But occasionally, she will visit the gym and do a round of cycling. On rainy days or during a cold winter morning, she will do slow walking on the treadmill and be blissfully unaware of the waiting runners. Police Aunty will scold Guard Bhaiya if the AC is not functioning, there is an ‘ajeeb sa smell’ or lack of paper napkins in the gym. Police Aunty also keeps a disapproving eye on the young people in the gym to ensure that the moral standards of the society are upheld. She is especially disapproving if she sees The Muscle Man giving exercise tips to the Hot Girl.

Bollywood Diva- She is usually smelt before she is seen because of her distinctive flowery deo. She dressed is color coordinated designer gym outfits, she matches her shoes and hair bands and wears lip gloss. She could look like baby elephant but her attitude is that of a Bollywood Diva. She believes that calories can be shed only to the accompaniment of ‘ Fevicol se’ or ‘Halkat Jawani’ blasted at ear shattering decibel levels. She will voice her opinions in equally loud tones. Anyone who does not share her taste in music is obviously an idiot who should be blacklisted from the gym.

The Corpo type- This Corpo type is the busy working man who barely manages to snatch time to come to the gym. He always carries two mobile phones to the gym- An office issue Blackberry and the latest iphone5S with Bose speakers. He checks his phones every 3 minutes and manages to attend a conference call while cycling. He has a set routine in the gym – 15 mintues on the treadmill, 12 on the bike and 20 push ups followed by deep breathing to release stress. Anyone or anything interfering in this routine causes more stress leading to heavier and deeper breathing. The Corpo Type gazes malevolently at the Bollywood Diva who happily hogs the treadmill and refuses to change the music. But he is too busy to pick a fight and cause more stress.

My brief trysts with the treadmill might not have helped me to lose weight or become fitter. I am the Sporadic Type who is more an observer of other gym types. This keeps me making occasional visits to
the gym. You never know which type you will encounter.

Every city and town has a unique culture and ethos. Mumbaikars rush about in public transport and swear by their vada paavs, Kolkatans never rush about and swear by their maccher jhol, Delhities just rush about and swear.

So what about Gurgaon? Is it just a dimple on the fair cheek of Delhi or a pimple on the hairy chin of Haryana? Every day, hundreds of people tumble into the Millenium City trying to figure out how they can quickly assimilate into the Gurgaon culture. The good news for wannabe Gurgaonites is that you don’t have to be born in Gurgaon or grow up in Gurgaon to become a citizen of Gurgaon. In fact, no one over ten years (apart from a few buffaloes) was born here.Being a Gurgaonite is really about adopting the Gurgaon way of life, a unique lifestyle that is different from life in any other part of the country.

Here is a simple checklist to decide if you qualify as a Gurgaon citizen.

1- You have four cars- one for the spouse, one for the maid to ferry Pinky and Bunty to after school classes, one is a Santro just in case the Honda City doesn’t start, one is a BMW for special occasions just in case people think you own only a Santro.

2-You complain about the traffic, the terrible pollution and the lack of parking space in Gurgaon at all. Really, it is too bad.

3-You employ two full time maids, one part time cleaning maid, one standby maid, one driver, one car cleaner, a regular cook, a party cook, a dog walker and one security guard.

4-You complain about how it is so difficult to find good domestic help. Really, it is too bad.

5- You never walk to anyplace. You only drive to the malls. You never climb stairs, you only take escalators in the malls.

6-You have a membership in a gym because you never get any exercise. The gym is only a kilometer away from your house. You rarely use your membership because you get stuck in traffic every time you drive to the gym.

7- You have bought an apartment or two. You look down on those who haven’t- they have no idea about real estate. Prices will only go up.

8- You are thinking about buying an apartment or two. You look down on those who already bought their own -they have no idea about real estate. Prices will only go down.

9-You have four brokers (real estate consultants) on your speed dial. Two are good friends. Your spouse is thinking of becoming a real estate consultant.

10- You complain about the lack of greenery and open spaces around you. Your family compensates by staying indoors and switching on all five air conditioners, watching three televisions and chilling beer in two refrigerators. Then each one takes a car and drives to Delhi to get some fresh air.

If you have scored more than 7, you can now proudly wear the ‘ Iam a Millenium Citizen’
badge.

A score of 4- 7 indicates that there is still hope for you. You should buy another car and complain more.

Anything less than 3 and you need to crawl back to wherever you came from. Alternately, you
can become a real estate consultant.

All of us who have been on the roads of Gurgaon are familiar with potholes. A pothole is defined as a hole or pit caused by wear and weathering of a road surface. They are sometimes filled with water, mud or gravel and can cause hazard to cattle and vehicles. Clearly, not something you would allow your BMW to consort with. My initial acquaintance with potholes was from the backseat of my car. I felt them as a rude jolt or a sudden shudder. However, after driving around for the past year, I have developed a strange relationship with them. Potholes are like visiting in-laws or income tax. Though I try to avoid them as much as possible, when left with no option, I try to summon up the forbearance and fortitude to manage them. After several close encounters, I have realized that potholes have been much maligned . There has been call for strong action against them but I now know that they serve a larger purpose which is not always clear to the motorist or walker who is selfishly only concerned with the physical state of his body and vehicle. The pothole teaches and reinforces several valuable life lessons and philosophies.

All men (and women) are created equal

The potholes are a great leveler. It doesn’t matter if you are driving a Mercedes or a Maruti 800, the Great Gurgaon potholes bring every vehicle to its knees. Even the most sophisticated shock absorber is no match for the bump and grind routine of a well endowed pothole. Every passenger endures the same
stomach lurching, liver churning, teeth clattering ,bone rattling experience while driving through a clutch of craters. In fact, the pain the owner of a brand new BMW feels while submitting his vehicle to the road is much more than that of the driver of a battered second hand car. The humble cyclist can nimbly dodge the pothole and look down upon the car driver as he trundles helplessly into the pit and feel a thrill of satisfaction.

All is Maya- Everything is an illusion

There I was chugging along what seemed like a smooth road, happily listening to the FM, humming Moves like Jagger when suddenly my little Beat, moved like it been hit by a large rolling stone. I had not seen the pothole until it was too late . The average driver is distracted by passing pigs, the pretty girl in the passing car, the pesky policeman who is trying to challan every passerby or the Gujjar Boy who is practicing for Formula One in his souped up Scorpio. Thus are we distracted by the veil of illusions in this world. During the monsoons and foggy winters, the veil of illusion grows thicker, more impenetrable. We are lulled into a false sense of security until harsh reality jolts our fenders. We must at all time be alert and mindful. He whose consciousness is not free from base attractions will succumb to the delusions of this material world and his car will succumb to the base materials used on the road.

The only thing constant is change

While the average life expectancy of people in India has increased thanks to medical advances, the life expectancy of Gurgaon roads seems to have declined. Nothing is permanent. Road repairs are even more impermanent. I see the road rollers and workers engaged in some patch up activity post the monsoons but within a year, the road has become a mess of holes again. Just when I had made friends with the potholes on the road in front of my apartment, they started destroying the entire road. The road has been under reconstruction for the past few months leading to more traffic jams and heartache. Now I am not sure whether the road that does come up will withstand the onslaught of weather and traffic.

This shining stretch of tar is not a friend of trucks and cars. Even as the body does weaken and decay, so does the road slowly wear away. Just as happiness is followed by sorrow, a road today becomes a pothole tomorrow.

The next time you pass a pothole, pause for a moment and thank it for making a philosopher out of you.

After swine flu, dengue and mall aria, another bug seems to have bitten the Gurgaonites – the fitness bug. The bug has been in the air for some time but of late it has acquired the proportions of a syndrome. Apart from golf, tennis, squash and gymming, the latest ‘in’ thing seems to be running.

There are a few women who are into running but mostly it seems to be the preserve of the thirty plus
male. One of common sights early in the morning, apart from the stray pig and doodhwala, is the running man. The running man wears the latest running gear, usually color coordinated shorts and T shirt in a sweat resistant material, the latest Nike/Adidas/Reebok shoes and a gizmo which will tell him everything from the speed, distance, altitude, air pressure, heart beat, calories burnt, pollution levels and the decibel levels of the stray dogs barking behind him. The newbie runner is recognized by the valiant grimace on his face as though he is preparing for a tough performance appraisal . The veteran runner tries to adopt a Zen like expression as a truck ploughs dust onto his face. In the absence of running tracks and easy roads, some runners opt to run in parks or inside the building premises. These runners exhibit a mixture of resentment and wariness as they try to dodge cars, school children, other runners, slow walkers, maids, maalis, drivers and pet dogs answering the call of nature. Sometimes, the run becomes a decathlon or a hurdle race.

Running is a solitary sport but runners are a gregarious lot. At any social gathering they form a little coterie and talk about running . The intellectual ones quote Murakami and make plans to exchange their ‘Born to Run’ and ‘Dare to run’ copies.’ The travel buffs plan running holidays, always centered around a marathon they want to participate in- ‘this year it is France since I want to run the Medoc , next year we will do Africa because I really want to do the Big Five.’ The foodies among them will discuss the merits of various energy gels and protein shakes. The hypochondriacs will exchange notes on shin splints and Achilles Tendonitis. There will be a heated debate on the best training schedule for the next marathon. Terms like Hal Higdon ‘s schedule and hitting the wall and ultra marathon will be tossed around. Soon the runners make plans to form a group and run together every Sunday morning. The coterie shows signs of becoming a cult.

Why does the running man run?

Runners to whom I put this question said things like “Running is like meditation”. “It is only when I run that I am truly free.” “ Running helps me reflect on the true meaning of life.” “ I like pushing myself and discovering my possibilities.” Such statements were accompanied by a philosophical expression or a faraway look in the eyes. The runners’ wives to whom I put this question said things like, “ He thinks it will impress the young girl who has moved next door.” “ Dieting didn’t help to get rid of the paunch, so he is trying running.” “It is a last bid to recapture his lost youth.” “ I don’t care why he runs but must he wake up the entire household at 5.30 a.m every morning?” Such statements were accompanied by an eye roll or a murderous glint in the eyes. My husband too has succumbed to the bug and has been running seriously for the past year with two half marathons under his belt. I put the question to my him one morning as he was getting ready for a run. “I am learning patience and endurance.” he muttered . “ And that will help me to put up with you!” he grinned and sprinted away from my response.

It is not such a bad thing, I figured. Running does not require expensive equipment or club membership, it can be done almost anywhere and the family may even get to go on exotic holidays and cheer for the marathon man in the family.

The inaugural F1 tournament in India seems to have gone off very well and everyone is singing the praises of the Noida authorities, the wonderful organizers and marveling at the incredible amount of parking space at the circuit. In contrast, Gurgaon has to live down the fiasco of the cancelled Metallica concert. While Noida is blithely cruising at 360 kmph, Gurgaon seems to be chugging back to the middle ages with bottle throwing, bench breaking and other barbaric activities. As a patriotic Gurgaonite, I think we should claim our place on the world stage by organizing some world class sporting events. Gurgaon already possess abundant resources and has several natural advantages that we can tap into. This way, we can save the tax payers money and put the local talent to good use as well.

Even those who have not read Hemingway or been to Spain would have now heard of the famous Pamplona Bull Run, thanks to the movie Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. Gurgaon should host the Haryana Buffalo Run. Every village in the district boasts of prime specimens of the species and Gurgaon has the topography to organize the event to make it even more exciting for the participants. All we need to do is let loose a herd of hardy Haryanvi buffaloes to thunder down the narrow by lanes of Chakarpur village and watch as the buffalo soldiers scatter and dash in panic. Whoever claims that a humble buffalo is no match for a bull has not encountered a disgruntled one in the middle of a typical Gurgaon traffic jam.

We can also make a pitch to hold the next World Athletic Steeplechase championships. The main attractions of the Steeplechase are the 38 barriers and the water jumps. Instead of having it in a boring stadium with the same monotonous rounds, the Great Gurgaon Steeplechase can be held on any stretch of an average 3000m road. During monsoons, the potholes will automatically become water jumps. The police barriers, great iron rods from construction sites and heaps of cement bags will act as natural hurdles. For the advanced athletes, there can be piles of malba and garbage in strategic locations interspersed with unnecessary speed breakers. Maybe we can start the first Steeplechase Marathon allowing the athletes to trace their path from Sohna Road to Sadar Bazaar. Those who fall by the wayside will be reenergized with fortified Buffalo milk.

Gurgaon may not have butter smooth roads to hold the Formula 1 races, but we have even better off the beaten track routes that will test the hardiest off roading driver. From the Aravalli Hills to the mustard fields off Sector 58, around the Damdama lake, across the dust bowls of Badshahpur and the large swampy wastes of new construction sites, Gurgaon has all kinds of terrains. Since the daily commute to work for the average Gurgaonite is similar to an off roading experience, the event will generate great enthusiasm and participation from the local community which is so important for the success of any event. For those who don’t have the right kind of four wheel drive or a racing bike, a friendly neighborhood mechanic will do some jugaad to spruce up the vehicle in no time at all. Forget F1, gear up for the Great Escape to Gurgaon.

By organizing these events with very little additional infrastructure and monetary investment, I am sure Gurgaon can salvage its reputation, make some money and get back on the world map.

Nirupama Subramanian is a long time Gurgaon resident and the author of the best selling novel, Keep The Change.